A Critical Look
DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN PREFERENCE AND DISCRIMINATION!
Discussing femininity and masculinity as it pertains to the gay community is nothing new. There have always been debates over whether one is better than the other and there are likely to be many more debates in the years to come.
I am under the belief that there is nothing wrong with being feminine and there is nothing wrong with being masculine, but many men do not share my sentiments. A growing number of gay men seeking to distance themselves from the gay community, which they perceive to be solely dominated by feminine gay men, are vying to create the perception that feminine gay men are somehow antithetical to homosexuality and somehow not living up to what it means to be a gay man. Now I want to make it clear that I am all for people having preferences. I have nothing against one preferring whatever it is that they prefer. I do however have a problem with discrimination though and I will continue to fight against it in society and especially within the gay community. Preference: Is the set of assumptions relating to a real or imagined “choice” between alternatives and the possibility of rank ordering of these alternatives, based on the degree of happiness, satisfaction, gratification, enjoyment, or utility they provide. If masculine men make you happier, if they bring you more satisfaction, if they gratify you more then there is nothing wrong with that. By all means do you until the cows come home. Discrimination: Refers to the treatment taken toward or against a person of a certain group in consideration based solely on category (femininity). Discriminatory behaviors take many forms, but they all involve some form of exclusion or rejection. Now if someone simply does not prefer another person why is there a need to malign and denigrate the person they do not prefer? When you have to say things like “I hate feminine gay men”, “Feminine gay men are disgusting”, “Feminine gay men make me sick”, “Masculine men are better than feminine men”, “I’m so tired of feminine gay men making masculine gay men look bad”, that crosses the line from you simply having a preference into you being discriminatory. Again I have no problem with preference I do however have a problem with discrimination. What many gay men are guilty of doing is not simply preferring masculine men but taking it a step further and discriminating against feminine men. Why they do this I have no clue. Again my message is simple. Prefer whatever it is you want to prefer but do not discriminate against so called feminine gay men because you don’t agree with their manhood. We don’t all have to prefer each other, but we can at least not discriminate against each other. Homophobic heterosexuals and self hating gay men are a threat to the gay community, feminine men are not. Post Submitted by: Derrick McMahon